*Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka forwarded to Biman Prasad an e-mail from Australia asking for an explanation for alleged back-stabbing. Instead of answering, Prasad and his NFP team - fronted by Kamal Iyer of the "Mr 98 Vote" fame - exploded in anger and twisted the narrative
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THE GREAT GMAIL COUP: NFP SAVES FIJI FROM ONE WOMAN WITH WIFI
So, apparently, Fiji was this close to collapsing into anarchy because an Australian-Fijian woman sent an email to Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka.
Yes, dear reader, the Republic trembled. The Coalition quivered.
And the NFP?
The party's general-secretary Kamal Iyer (Mr 98 Votes) leaped into battle like a Marvel cast on Red Bull.
What did this terrifying email contain?
Witchcraft? Classified intel? Nuclear codes?
No. It allegedly suggested that Biman Prasad might - brace yourself - have political feelings.
And possibly a phone.
And maybe, in a parallel universe, once spoke to the former NFP president Tupou Draunidalo.
Scandalous. Call the UN. Mobilise the RFMF. Hide the kava.
The NFP Version of Events
In a dramatic flourish they warn: "a heinous plot to derail the coalition government.”
Someone questioned Biman Prasad and we are Not Having It.
They Even Dragged Tupou Draunidalo?
Poor Tupou Draunidalo, minding her business somewhere, suddenly cast as The Shadow Empress of Plotting Things Since 2016.
NFP demands she “clarify” herself like they’re summoning her to confess in a medieval castle.
Next press release: “We have reason to believe Tupou owns a mug. A suspicious mug.”
And the Language, Oh the Language
Their statement uses every dramatic insult except “the bloody b***h":
At one point it sounded like a Pentecostal exorcism and a Bollywood script collided in a newsroom.
When political parties start writing like rejected Game of Thrones villains, nothing screams “calm and stable leadership” like yelling CESSPOOL!! at a woman with an iPhone and a Laptop.
The Real Question
How fragile does a government have to be if one email, one woman, one rumour equals apocalypse level threat.
Forget cyber warfare. Fiji politics can apparently be toppled via Gmail and gossip.
Somewhere, serious intelligence agencies are absolutely weeping from laughter.
If this is the master-plan to destroy the Coalition government, Australia should be ashamed. That’s not espionage. That’s Facebook aunty energy.
Meanwhile, the public sits in Fiji like: “Guys, Biman has been on the run since 5 September 2024, and is now facing charges. Maybe talk about that instead of declaring war on GMAIL?”
But no. Better to scream “CONSPIRACY!” at the sky, declare patriotic jihad against Gmail users, and call critics “cesspool dwellers”.
Strong leadership right there by a party whose leader should be charged with multiple counts of lying in his statutory declarations between 2014 and 2024.
We had sent most of the documentary evidence to Sitiveni Rabuka long ago, calling for him to SACK the NFP leader, Deputy Prime Minister, and Finance Minister BIMAN CHAND PRASAD.
So, apparently, Fiji was this close to collapsing into anarchy because an Australian-Fijian woman sent an email to Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka.
Yes, dear reader, the Republic trembled. The Coalition quivered.
And the NFP?
The party's general-secretary Kamal Iyer (Mr 98 Votes) leaped into battle like a Marvel cast on Red Bull.
What did this terrifying email contain?
Witchcraft? Classified intel? Nuclear codes?
No. It allegedly suggested that Biman Prasad might - brace yourself - have political feelings.
And possibly a phone.
And maybe, in a parallel universe, once spoke to the former NFP president Tupou Draunidalo.
Scandalous. Call the UN. Mobilise the RFMF. Hide the kava.
The NFP Version of Events
- A civilian sends a message.
- The PM forwards it like a polite uncle who doesn’t quite understand Gmail.
- NFP reads it and declares it a global conspiracy to overthrow the government.
- They accuse a woman in Australia of masterminding Fiji’s downfall from her laptop.
- The press release sounds like Tom Clancy ghost-wrote it after three bowls of yaqona and a head injury.
In a dramatic flourish they warn: "a heinous plot to derail the coalition government.”
Someone questioned Biman Prasad and we are Not Having It.
They Even Dragged Tupou Draunidalo?
Poor Tupou Draunidalo, minding her business somewhere, suddenly cast as The Shadow Empress of Plotting Things Since 2016.
NFP demands she “clarify” herself like they’re summoning her to confess in a medieval castle.
Next press release: “We have reason to believe Tupou owns a mug. A suspicious mug.”
And the Language, Oh the Language
Their statement uses every dramatic insult except “the bloody b***h":
- repugnant
- filth
- cesspool
- drown
At one point it sounded like a Pentecostal exorcism and a Bollywood script collided in a newsroom.
When political parties start writing like rejected Game of Thrones villains, nothing screams “calm and stable leadership” like yelling CESSPOOL!! at a woman with an iPhone and a Laptop.
The Real Question
How fragile does a government have to be if one email, one woman, one rumour equals apocalypse level threat.
Forget cyber warfare. Fiji politics can apparently be toppled via Gmail and gossip.
Somewhere, serious intelligence agencies are absolutely weeping from laughter.
If this is the master-plan to destroy the Coalition government, Australia should be ashamed. That’s not espionage. That’s Facebook aunty energy.
Meanwhile, the public sits in Fiji like: “Guys, Biman has been on the run since 5 September 2024, and is now facing charges. Maybe talk about that instead of declaring war on GMAIL?”
But no. Better to scream “CONSPIRACY!” at the sky, declare patriotic jihad against Gmail users, and call critics “cesspool dwellers”.
Strong leadership right there by a party whose leader should be charged with multiple counts of lying in his statutory declarations between 2014 and 2024.
We had sent most of the documentary evidence to Sitiveni Rabuka long ago, calling for him to SACK the NFP leader, Deputy Prime Minister, and Finance Minister BIMAN CHAND PRASAD.
Biman Prasad failed to declare his directorships in three companies: Lotus Construction (Fiji) Ltd; Platinum Hotels & Resorts Ltd, and Lotus Tours & Transfers Ltd
*In his 2014 statutory declaration, Biman Chand Prasad failed to disclose that he was one of two directors in the Lotus Construction (Fiji) Ltd. He continued to hide his directorship until he became Coalition's Finance Minister in 2022. He was facing 10 charges when Malimali closed his File.
KAMAL IYER moaning that his leader has been charged for breaching the Political Parties Act in 2015 - 10 years ago. Not long ago NFP was cheering when Dr Neil Sharma, Frank Bainimarama and Aiyaz Khaiyum were charged for offences allegedly committed in 2011
